New Bern, NC

One of my 2 transfer points on the 12-hour bus ride from Philadelphia to New Bern was in Goldsboro, NC. We arrived at 5:20 in the morning for our 40 minute layover, after having traveled since 8PM from Philly. Much to my surprise, and that of the other 10 or 12 passengers catching a connection there, the station was not open. This sign struck me as so amusing that I had to take a picture. Check out the hours of operation...


New Bern, at first sight struck me as a stretch of highway you pass – an exit with strip mall after strip mall. It never occurred to me that there are homes in places like that. But, back behind the Books A Million, IHOP, and crab pots store, stands my cousin’s neighborhood. And, a very long bath was waiting for me inside...



Meet Luke, aka, luke-igi, aka the wonder schnauzer. Unfortunately for me, he is a rescue puppy and very, very skiddish! So, he only warmed up to me a few hours before I left. However, he is my first pet on the road. So, I wanted to give him a shout out!



My days in New Bern were quiet and restful. I stayed home to practice and plan while my cousin, Marsha, and her husband, Jeremy, (who she affectionately refers to as “husband”) worked. I had lots of time in the evenings to chat with Marsha, catch up on our childhood myths and set records straight and to re-connect about goings on in our lives. One of my favorite moments was our walk with Luke by the beautiful Neuse River.




I also had the opportunity to visit a military base for the first time in my life. Marsha works on base in a medical department, and Jeremy was a chaplain on base until recently. I was struck by the formality and respect of the saluting ritual. I was also struck by how developed the whole compound was. The base is like it’s on world! Much bigger than the surrounding town, or, at least more densely populated.

There was a whole neighborhood of condemned houses behind which they're building new houses. And, of course there were the barracks where the younger enlistees live. I guess people stay here, typically for a couple of years before moving on. I also saw the tarmac full of jets, including a jet of soldiers returning from Iraq! Crazy...

I was struck by how contained everything was - work, doctor, church, home, even grocery and video stores - all behind closed gates and a salute.

I don't really know for sure how it all works, but I thought to myself, no wonder we spend so much money on the military. This whole city (and there must be many more like it) must be funded by tax dollars, right?!

But, I digress...

My show was a great Tuesday-night success – an intimate audience of mostly neighbors, each very attentive and sincerely encouraging of my music. After the show, Jeremy (husband) started a bonfire in their fire pit, and we roasted hot dogs and chatted in the cool night air before the last guests left, and we went inside to call it a night.

I’ve spent all of today on the bus driving through the beautiful back woods of North Carolina. And, despite all this beauty, I can't shake the feeling that I’m “passing” for someone. Someone more Christian, more Southern, more straight. It occurred to me that if my bus driver and fellow passengers knew that I was an Obama-voting northerner, married to a woman, I wouldn’t get the courtesy that I am afforded now. But, I figure we all have our battles to pick, and I just want to get to Memphis safely. So, I keep my eyes out the window, and my conversations to a friendly doddle about nothing much at all.

Not to mention that when I arrived to New Bern, one of the first things Marsha told me was about a murder that had recently happened there. From my understanding, a young naval officer was out with another soldier and two girls. He and his “friend” couldn’t get into the club because they weren’t dressed well enough, or something. They ended up being kidnapped – one beaten to death, the other still in critical condition. Though it hasn’t been explicitly stated in the media she read somewhere that they led an “alternative” lifestyle, and she suspected it was a hate crime against them because they were gay. All 4 suspects had been caught by the time I got there.

Because of this, I did struggle a bit with making my set list for this concert. How do I pour my heart out and be the “me” I always am on stage, and still be safe? It’s funny, I didn’t announce that I’m married to a woman, as I often do in northern cities… but this concert actually felt much more intimate. Almost every member of the audience commented on a song they loved, or a lyric that touched them. One woman told me that I was brave, that she couldn’t see herself doing this because she’d feel so exposed. She said that she and many others have these stories, but, “we just don’t talk about it.” She told me that it really hit her in the gut. In a good way, I hope!

I think she was referring mostly to the song I sing for my sister, Emily’s song… though many of my songs are stripped down, exposed underbelly parts of me and my psyche. I guess that’s the way I like it.

I also got to try out the brand new song I wrote in Philadelphia (which I think will be titled These Coming Miles), and, it went relatively well. Though, I think I'll try it a few more times before posting a video of it. But, JJ took these really fun photos of me in the writing process (now, how lucky do you have to be to write a song in a photographer's office??!) I can't wait for you to hear it! ☺


I’m on the road to Memphis, now… just another 17 hours left. ☺

Talk to you soon,
Jess